feeling a big sorrow always makes you feel like you need to improve yourself more..
but why we have to make such a big effort to reach something that we consider to exist already deeply in us.. but still haven't made it "ours". why cannot our life or our personality change just by herself without the right us who makes an effort?
and .. is putting all our souls into changes, worth it at all??
i mean there are some things you cannot do anything about.. maybe some "basics" should stay as they are? or are we really so disappointed with ourselves?
i keep thinking if i should keep on changing or just forget about it and be myself as i'm right now.. even tough i'm not so pleased or not really accepting my "things"? is this worth a chance to "besser"? is the result worth suffering? and what would happen if the result was different from that what i've been expecting it to become? what if my aim would keep on changing as the time passed by? what if the result i want now wouldn't be satisfying after i already got there?
do we always have to want more and more?